About me

Hi, I’m Maria— an Assiniboine, Sioux, and Chippewa mother, nurse, wife, and big sister trying to make space for both healing and memory. I’m originally from Montana, and my roots run deep on the Fort Peck Reservation, where I grew up surrounded by family, culture, and both joy and hardship.

In 2020, my world shifted forever when my younger brother, Austin, died at just 17. He was funny, stubborn, kind, and resilient, especially after losing his right hand in a firework accident when he was 12. I always saw him as my shadow, and now I carry his memory like a second heartbeat.

This blog, All the Ways I Carry Him, is part healing and part storytelling. It’s where I share the memories that sneak up on me, some tender, some hilarious, all of them pieces of who we were together. I’m writing for myself, for others navigating grief, and for anyone who’s ever lost someone they’ll always love.

In my day-to-day life, I’m a nurse working in Arizona and a Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP) student studying to become a nurse-midwife. I believe in culturally rooted care, community, and showing up as I am even when that means showing up with grief in my pocket.

I started this blog because I needed somewhere to place the weight of it all. I keep Austin close in stories, and this is one way I carry him.

Thanks for being here. 🧡